Tuesday, September 30, 2008

What really happened or You Should See The Other Guy!

So I was walking home Friday night, slowly and in no rush, when we see this little old lady walking her tiny, tiny puppy. Some huge lady runs up, grabs the dog and runs off. Quickly, giving no thought to my own safety, I launch my umbrella at her like a Ninja Star. She goes down, freeing the puppy. But she's not down for long. She jumps up, charges toward me and I stick out my foot to trip her. She takes me down with her and I fall on my face. She, however, is knocked out unconscious on the sidewalk and I walk away.


It was a bar fight. Some chick was hitting on my man and I beat her up, but not before she got a couple of good swings in.


m.i.l. said...

i still think it was Babe that smacked you....you know how he has that violent temper! haha

Buzz said...


A young mother was crossing the street pushing a baby carriage with rickety wheels containing her two month old bright eyed baby girl when WHAM!

She hits that offending tree root sidewalk bump and sends the baby aloft.

You instinctively bridge the gap with three long strides and dive out ala' Jeter into the stands to successfully catch the child in your hands, selflessly sacrificing your face in the process.

You stand to overwhelming aplause and gratitude and subsequently spike the baby back into the carriage, throw your arms skyward and shout into the crowd:

"Thank you and goodnight!!!"

-Because spiking babies ranks right up there with punting puppies for comedic effect.


Randi said...

LOL what's wrong with my fiance?

Nancy said...

Nope. I was there.
This is what happened. You were sipping cocktails at a local hotel bar, when who walked in but Marty Scorsese. When he noticed you enjoying your 3rd Bellini, he approached you and asked what you thought of the script he had sent you last Thursday, via messenger.

A little tipsy, you gave him your thoughts rather quick and dirty. He got so upset, his arms began waving like mad, and he hit your bellini glass, it shattered and when you blocked your face with your hands to avoid the glass, you lost your balance and fell off the bar stool.

It was really a scene.

Anonymous said...

I saw what really happened...

Mike was outside the Cubby Hole, beat boxing when a pack of street tuffs walked up to him and asked him to stop.

Offended, he told them to scram, but not before shoving the 6'6, 320lb man backwards onto the parked car behind him.

This immediately caused chaos, and people started to throw fists. Mike, was able to take down all 5 of them with his karate skills (he secretively takes classes).

BUT...while celebrating this feat, a wild squirrel came flying out of the tree and attached you -

"Karate skills can't help in such a situation." Mike replied as he handed you an ice pack.

unknown legend said...


You were in the middle of a fantastic reading lesson when one student says "yo mama" and another says "no no YO MOMMA" and your forced to break up a fight right there in your classroom.

Wait... That was me.

Feel better girl.