Saturday, February 04, 2006

........if you had a bar........

Honestly, if you were going to open up a bar any bar what would it be? Would you have a theme? or maybe just a style, a feel? dark wood, maybe. big nice tables a la Brass Monkey? a grungy grimey look? chrome? fifties? sixties? oooh seventies! You could have a neighborhoody type bar, with good beer. Specialty martinis your thing? Why not have a bar with an excellent selection of beverages.

In short - if you're opening your own bar in Manhattan, you could have any bar any bar in the whole wide world.

A little bar just opened up around the corner, much needed in Hell's Kitchen - new bars, I mean. Not that there aren't great bars in Hell's Kitchen, but I'd love a neighborhood establishment I could really sink my teeth into. You know, not too close to the pad (read: cubby hole) not too far away - just right. Casual vibe, nice buy back situation, friendly wait staff, zero 'tude. So we watched with anticipation - sort of - as the empty space next to the weird bar b que place on 9th avenue started to transform. Fairly quickly we knew something was not quite right because of the rainbow curtains in the storefront windows. Then the bar donned a CIRCUS sign out front decorated with, you guessed it, a clown. Yeah, a clown.

A CLOWN.

So the bar is okay, you know, whatever, pretty space, okay bartenders, nice-seeming crowd. But there are free peanuts on the bar and you just throw the shells on the beautiful new wood floor.

It's a circus, people. Get it? A circus.

Fucking clowns.

4 comments:

Shora said...

Clowns scare the crap outta me. And I'm allergic to peanuts. Sounds like hell on earth.

If I won a gazillion dollars I'd buy my local. It's an English pub with just the atmosphere you describe. Sigh. And there'd be free beers for you and Randi whenever you came to visit.

Randi said...

I'd open a mime bar and make sure the waiters rolled around on unicycles and made balloon animals. And there'd be free acid at the door.

Coodence said...

Shora - it really is. Horrible. Randoodle and I would totally come to your bar.

Randalabra, you are killing me with the mimes on unicycles. Reminds me a time....

Mona said...

That is completely bizarre. Wow, and a total disappointment...
I'd have to go with the whole clowns are scary notion, so are dolls.
If I opened a bar it would be...hmmm let me get back to you.